Sex toys are a major aspect of many people’s sexuality, either on their own or with partners. Whether it’s a large collection of everything from anal beads to fucking machines or a single cheap bullet vibrator hidden in your nightstand, mostly everyone who is exploring their sexuality uses (or has curiosity about using) sex toys at some point. While sex toys are not for everyone, most sexual people love the added fun of bringing a toy into their sex life—or even keeping toys for solo use. Whatever you’re looking for, hopefully this post will serve as a guide to choosing, using, and maintaining the sex toy(s) right for you!
Vibrators are mostly used with people who have vulvas, though some people enjoy the vibrating sensations on their penis or testicles. Vibrators come in all shapes and sizes and can be used internally, externally, or both at the same time. Every vibrator has some kind of motor that is powered by standard batteries, a rechargeable battery, or an outlet.
For materials, I recommend silicone and hard plastic. These are non-porous options that will make cleaning much easier. Simply wash with antibacterial soap and warm water, making sure not to get any water inside the toy, as that can damage the motor. Toy sprays and wipes can also be used for quick clean-ups, but I recommend condoms if you’re going to be sharing these between partners, just to make things easier.
Internal vibrators penetrate the vagina. Some have a curved head that can be used to simulate the g-spot. They can have any kind of texture or vibrating patterns you can imagine. Usually, a vibrator is a typical choice for someone with a vagina’s first sex toy purchase.
- Beginners: Often first-time vibrators are cheap. They are usually made of plastic of PU-coated plastic. This type of material is relatively safe, but shouldn’t be shared, as it cannot be completely sterilized. When looking for a first-time vibrator keep size, material, texture and functions in mind. I suggest something traditional and smooth such as this, this, or this.
G-Spot: G-spot vibrators are more advanced and have a curved head to access the zone at the front base of the pelvis that is referred to as “The G-Spot”. This can cause more intense orgasms and/or squirting. I suggest trying toys like this, this, or this.
The Very Best: The best of the vibrator-world is going to be more expensive, but you also get safer materials, more functions, and better features. If you can afford to save up some money, I highly suggest you go for the gold. Some of my favourites are this, this, and this. Tantus also sells high quality vibrating dildos such as Duke, Echo, and Goddess.
Options to Look For:
External vibrators can be used to stimulate the vuvla, specifically the clit, as well as the penis or testicles. External vibes usually come in two forms: the bullet and the wand.
Bullets are small vibrators that usually have a rounded or pointed head to use precision around the clitoris. Wands, on the other hand, are usually much larger and more powerful.
For materials, plastic and silicone works best, but you’ll find that some models, such as the Hitachi, have a more porous head to them. This means condoms are required if you’re going to be sharing between partners. For cleaning, sprays and wipes work best, here, because it’s easy to accidentally damage the motor by letting water drip inside. Wiping it down with a cloth dipped in warm, soapy water also works fine if you’re not sharing these toys.
- Beginners: I suggest bullets to beginners because a) they’re cheaper and b) they aren’t as intense as wands, which can sometimes overstimulate people who are new to heavy vibrations on sensitive areas. Some cheap options are things like this, this, or this. If you’re looking for higher quality bullets, try Tantus’s silicone series like this, this, or this.
The Very Best: Wands are really useful toys for people who like high-intensity vibration—also know as “power queens”. They can be charged and used wirelessly or have plugs that go directly into the outlet while you use them. The most popular toy of all time, in my opinion is the Hitachi, which I have a comically-intense review of here. Some other awesome options are the Mood Fantastic and the Fairy Wand.
Options to Look For:
- Rechargeable VS Corded.
Rabbits are a fun combination of internal and external vibrations. They typicall have an internal vibrator with an external attachment to stimulate the clitoris. They’re called “rabbits” because these attachments are typically shaped like a rabbit’s head, with the ears used to tease the clit. It’s important to note that no animals are harmed in the proper use of these toys.
While rabbits are pretty awesome in theory, their downfall is usually the poor material they are made of. Most rabbits are made of jelly, TPE, TPR, or PVC, which are all porous materials. While you can use these with condoms, I recommend saving up just a little bit more for the silicone options, because they are much safer and better in quality. Cleaning is also much easier with silicone and there’s no condom required for solo-use. Simply wash with antibacterial soap and warm water, making sure no water gets inside the motor. Toy sprays and wipes are also good options. Don’t forget to wipe down the rabbit, too!
- Beginners: Even beginners should avoid the materials listed above. Silicone is really the best way to go, and it’s worth the extra money to avoid those potential infections. Try silicone models like this, this, this, or this.
- The Very Best: The best rabbits are usually rechargeable and have more options than some other rabbits. Some even rotate or thrust! Check out this and this—and of course, my personal favourite, the Vanity line by Jopen.
Options to Look For:
Dildos are toys for penetration that don’t vibrate—though some have a spot to insert bullet vibrators in order to get that effect. They are usually phallic-shaped but are in no way restricted to only looking like penises. They come in tons of shapes and sizes, so your options are truly limitless. There’s a company called Bad Dragon that even creates dildos to look like dragon penises!
For dildos, I recommend using only silicone, glass, or steel. Like vibrators, lots of dildos are made out of materials that are not body-safe. Silicone, glass, and steel are your best options for finding a dildo that works well and is also safe for you to insert into your body.
Size is also something to look at when purchasing a dildo. While most vibrators have standard sizes, there is a lot of range with dildos. 1”-1.5” in diameter is the range for most people starting out, though more advanced users can fall within the 1.5”-2” diameter range. People who enjoy toys less than 1” or over 2” in diameter are going to have a much harder time finding toys that work for them.
Keep in mind that the dildos I am discussing and linking to in this section are for vaginas. Not all of them will be suitable for anal play, so be sure to check the anal section below here for more on that!
Silicone is known for its velvety-smooth texture. Not only is it one of the safest materials, it’s also one with a lot of diversity. Silicone dildos can be super soft or extra firm—or even squishy enough to feel an actual penis without losing that “hardness” required for comfortable penetration.
- Beginners: Many of the dildos I recommend for beginners are more firm in texture. They’re still super smooth, but the firmness is better for people who are just starting out with penetrative toys. I suggest products like this, this, or this for more standard, traditional dildos. Or if you want one that has an optional insertable bullet for some vibrations, try this.
- The Very Best: My absolutely favourite thing to recommend to people aside from the Hitachi (mentioned above, in external vibrators) is VixSkin. Vixskin is a company that makes amazing toys out of super high-quality silicone that feels absolutely fantastic. I recommend this most to people who like a “life-like” experience of a real penis, or those who just don’t like their dildos too firm. VixSkin is on the softer side, but works perfectly well during penetration. Going up in size, I recommend Mustang (1.25” diameter), Goodfella (1.5” diameter), and Maverick (2” diameter). In addition, the O2 line by Tantus is amazing. Adam is highly recommended, as is their Flurry O2 (1.5” diameter) and Cush O2 (1.75” diameter).
Glass dildos are so unique! Not only are they absolutely gorgeous, they’re also really diverse in texture. Some are completely smooth and others have all kinds of crazy surface textures to drive you wild.
Glass is a super safe material that is easily to clean and can even be used for temperature play. Simply run under warm water or stick it in the freezer for an even more exciting session.
Glass can be completely sterilized, too, so sharing isn’t a problem. Simply soak them in a 10% bleach solution, boil for five minutes, or stick them in the top rack of a dishwasher for total sterilization. You can also clean them by hand with soap and water, toy wipes, or toy sprays if you’re not sharing them.
Keep in mind that glass is a hard material and may not be suitable for people who like soft toys. Be careful when thrusting with glass toys, as you can bruise your cervix if you go too hard.
- Beginners: For beginners, I recommend some smooth toys. However, if you want to jump into trying out some textures, go for it! Some good options for beginners looking to get feel for the material without too much texture are things like this, this, or this.
- The Very Best: What’s going to be the best depends on what kind of texture you like, if any. Some common options with glass are things like bubbles, spiralsbumps, and twists.
Steel is a more advanced material and usually much more expensive. However, it has all the features of glass (from the easy cleaning and sterilization to the ability to use it for temperature play) and some added weight. They also come in larger sizes than glass typically comes in.
- Beginners: For beginners, I would suggest they try glass before investing in the more expensive steel options. Also, start smaller and work up to larger toy. Try this probe or the Fun Wand for your introduction to steel.
- The Very Best: A really good toy for more advanced users is the Pure Wand. It’s great for g-spot action! Also, for those looking for a larger toy, the Eleven goes up to 2” in diameter.
Anal play is a great thing to try if you haven’t already. Because everyone has a butt, almost everyone can safely play with anal toys.
Some things to keep in mind are materials and size. Be sure the toy you use is body-safe and able to be sanitized. Also keep in mind that the anus is relatively small, though it does stretch. However, stretch may take some practice and working up to, so don’t jump into large toys without starting off small.
Plugs are often people’s first anal toy. They come in lots of different shapes, sizes, and materials. Plugs are usually no more than three or four inches long, and have a large, wide base to them.
Because they are smaller than dildos, plugs can be worn for extended periods of time and can even be worn under clothing in public or around the house.
Material-wise, I again suggest only silicone, glass, or steel because these are the safest materials available. Silicone is especially good for beginners because it is lighter and more comfortable than glass or steel.
- Beginners: Beginnerplugs are for people who have never experienced anal play and would like to start small. Some great options are this, this, and this. Or try the Beginner’s Kit. If you’re feeling adventurous or have a little experience, try the small Pure Plug.
- Intermediate: Intermediates include people who have had small plugs and/or engage in anal play or anal sex with their partners. Try something like this, this, this, or this. The medium Pure Plug is also a fantastic option.
- Advanced: Advanced plugs are for people who have experience with plugs and anal play and are looking for bigger options. Try the large Pure Plug if you like steel and heavier plugs. If you want to stick with silicone, go for something like this or this. You can also look into vibrating options like this one.
Anal beads are a very simple toy. They’re long toys with bubble or bead-like textures that go further into the body than plugs, and are pulled out with a cord or handle on the end. Play safe and pull gently, though! Ripping the cord would be very bad.
Silicone is the only material I would suggest for these beads. Absolutely no jelly or other porous materials! Some awesome options are products like this
, or this
. All of those products are motor-less, waterproof, body-safe options to play with.
Anal dildos differ from vaginal dildos in the sense that they have a flange. A flange is a wide base that keeps the toy from going too far inside your body. Lots of people use vibrators or dildos that have no base and end up in the emergency room to get toys removed, which isn’t really fun for anyone involved. So, be sure to use a dildo that specifically has a wide base if you’re going to use it anally.
Furthermore, dildos with a base can absolutely be used for vaginal play. However, if you’re going to switch from anal to vaginal use on a toy you need to sanitize it or use a condom. Vaginas will get infected very easily if you go from anal to vaginal use with the same toy so be sure to clean and keep safe!
Like vaginal dildos, I only recommend silicone, glass, or steel toys for safety reasons. These are the only materials you can sanitize, which is a feature you want—especially in anal toys.
- Beginners: Start small and work up! Something like Your Highness is an excellent starter toy for anal. Then you can work up to more traditional dildos like this or anal toys like this.
- The Very Best: The “best” toy in this sense is just something of a higher quality silicone. These types of toys feel much better, especially anally. Things like this or this are great options due to the large bases on them.
P-spot stimulators are anal toys that stimulate the prostate. People who have prostates may come to find that stimulating that area can result in very powerful orgasms. These toys are specifically designed to access that area.
- Beginners: BMS Enterprises has a line called “LUX” that includes some awesome prostate massagers. For beginners, I recommend the LX-1 or LX-2 models. Also check out Tantus’s Prostate Health Vibrator.
- The Very Best: For those looking for a more advanced p-spot toy, try the LX-3 or the LX-3 Plus, which has all the amazing functions of the LX-3, but is larger.
Masturbators are sex toys for people with penises. They come in all different styles and textures to help achieve orgasm easier. Silicone masturbators are rare to come across so the next material you should look for is thermoplastic rubber (TPR/TPE). While this material isn’t able to steralize, it is safe enough to use with proper cleaning (soap and warm water) and not sharing the toy.
Masturbation sleeves are the most common toy for people with penises. They have various textures in a soft material and work by controlling pressure, usually by squeezing an outer tube.
Some options include basic models like this or this. Tantus has a high-quality silicone Stroker and an XL version. Fleshlight also creates toys that are modeled after porn stars such as Jenna Haze, Teagan Presley, and Jesse Jane.
Realistic models are also available, but usually cost a lot more. These usually take the shape of an actual torso and offer a more realistic feel for some people. They are like smaller, more realistic “fuckdolls”. Popular models include this, this, and this.
Strap-ons are mainly used for penetrative sex with two people who have vaginas, but can also be used for double-penetration with a penis, or with someone in chastity.
The most common use of a strap-on is with a harness that attaches around the waist and has a base in front of the pelvis for a dildo. Most work with o-rings of varying sizes to adjust for dildo girths but some work with something called “vac-u-lock.”
- Harnesses with o-rings require a dildo with a flange (flared base) to work properly.
- Some standard harnesses include models like this, this, or this.
- You can also find harnesses in plus sizes.
- There are also specific types of harness for other areas of the body like feet and thighs.
Another option for strap-on sex is a strapless strapon. Instead of having a harness, these types of toys have one end that goes inside the vagina that balances another dildo on the outside for penetration. Feeldoe is a popular brand for this type of strap-on, but models like this, this, and this also work quite well.
I hope this post provides some guidance on your next sex toy purchase. If you have any additional questions, feel free to message me. A guide covering-kink toys will be coming in the future, so stay tuned for that if you’re looking for information on toys used for BDSM.